Ok, so at work, we’re not supposed to eat fish because apparently someone has mad allergies and could go into shock if he/she is exposed to even the smell of fish. I know, a bit wacky right? But apparently, once, someone microwaved fish and the person went into shock from like 30 meters away. In another room. Basically it’s pretty serious. So here I am, at lunch, eating some delicious scalloped potatoes and I see something (I couldn’t remember exactly what was in the casserole) I thought was cheese. I was salmon. So I’m like “Oh. No.” Right at that moment my eyes dart around the room and I start looking for someone with the symptoms of dying. It was terrible. I was eating quickly so as to reduce lethal exposure for my hapless victim. Due to my haste, a tiny spec landed on the table. ON THE TABLE! The contagion of death had begun. So I wipe the sesame seed-sized debris from the table and at this point any loud noise or abrupt movement puts me on edge. It was terrible. After my meal (it was to die for, by the way), I walked back to my cubicle. Like a fool, I touched the door handle with the grim reaper’s hand! It was too much. Now I’m basically 100% percent certain someone will drop dead at some point today. No way around it. God. So I was sitting there (I washed my hands using the alcohol based cleaner, but I had to touch the spout thing, so, I don’t know…) thinking about my mistake and I was actually (honestly) thinking that my breath was now lethal. Like, if I say hello to the wrong person, they’ll kneel over and die. Stressed me out so hard. Anyway, that was my lunch.