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Posts Tagged ‘panic’

Yesterday, I went to a meditation session held at the local holistic medicine center (which seems to be a pretty cool place).

The actual act of meditation, or what I was doing when we were supposed to be meditating was pretty chill. I enjoy introversion and all that stuff. But here’s the thing. I’m sitting there for like 20 minutes with my legs crossed on a little block pillow and progressively, my back start hurting because we’re not moving and I must be in a bad posture and I did a trick on my back a few years ago. All those factors add up to “not a good time for the old back”. Anyway, I’m sitting there, zoning out and my back’s sore. Then. My leg falls asleep. Terrific. My foot’s numb and I know that in like 5 minutes we’re going to need to do get up and do some walking meditation (that’s when you walk around and concentrate on the sensation of the floor on your feet, or so I think). When my foot goes numb, I tend to lose the ability to put pressure on my leg as the blood rushes back. So I’m sitting there, with a sore back and a numb foot facing the possibility of falling straight on my face in the middle of some meditation walk thing. I can tell you that sure helped me get the old nerves under control. So our meditation master rings this bell meaning we need to start walking in circles and meditate. I figure, here we go. I stand up and by some miracle, I don’t collapse. I figure I’ve come into contact with some ethereal force that made me get circulation without the pain. Wrong. About 20 seconds later, blood rushes back in and my left leg is in pain. I really couldn’t go, “Oh, meditation master, I think I’ll sit this one out. Sitting down for 20 minutes and then walking in circles is just too hard on the old ticker, you know?” So I manned up and walked slowly with a bit of a limp. It was a bit like in Usual Suspect. I started with this weird limp and I progressively lost it. If it would have been at a film convention, I’m sure it would have been well received as a great impression and I could have passed it off as something sorta cool. Instead, I felt super incompetent because my body isn’t physically able to sit down for long periods of time and right up walk a bit. Anyway, after about an hour of pain, I went back home and lied down on the floor because my back was aching.

That’s how meditation went. I mean, I dug it. I like the idea, but I don’t think it really worked for me. Though it might have been a bit too advanced for me.

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Last Meal

Ok, so at work, we’re not supposed to eat fish because apparently someone has mad allergies and could go into shock if he/she is exposed to even the smell of fish. I know, a bit wacky right? But apparently, once, someone microwaved fish and the person went into shock from like 30 meters away. In another room. Basically it’s pretty serious. So here I am, at lunch, eating some delicious scalloped potatoes and I see something (I couldn’t remember exactly what was in the casserole) I thought was cheese. I was salmon. So I’m like “Oh. No.” Right at that moment my eyes dart around the room and I start looking for someone with the symptoms of dying. It was terrible. I was eating quickly so as to reduce lethal exposure for my hapless victim. Due to my haste, a tiny spec landed on the table. ON THE TABLE! The contagion of death had begun. So I wipe the sesame seed-sized debris from the table and at this point any loud noise or abrupt movement puts me on edge. It was terrible. After my meal (it was to die for, by the way), I walked back to my cubicle. Like a fool, I touched the door handle with the grim reaper’s hand! It was too much. Now I’m basically 100% percent certain someone will drop dead at some point today. No way around it. God. So I was sitting there (I washed my hands using the alcohol based cleaner, but I had to touch the spout thing, so, I don’t know…) thinking about my mistake and I was actually (honestly) thinking that my breath was now lethal. Like, if I say hello to the wrong person, they’ll kneel over and die. Stressed me out so hard. Anyway, that was my lunch.

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